It’s been one month that I have been back in Los Angeles. It’s f***ing weird. Here is the thing, it isn’t about living in Alaska vs. living in Los Angeles. The truth is I can sort of live anywhere and adapt pretty quickly to my surroundings. I have always been able to do that. For me it’s missing the sense of community I had there. I can’t see myself picking up and moving to Alaska. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed my time there. I had a blast and was able to really push myself in ways I didn’t think possible. It also gave me a sense of my value as a producer and creator of content. Coming back has been a transition. I knew it would be, but it’s finally really hitting me now.

As soon as I came back to LA I jumped head first into line producing and production managing a web series. It was a lot of work, but I jumped at the chance to make some money as soon as I got back. I am so glad I had the experience, but it helped delay some of the feelings I am currently experiencing. I was so wrapped up in work I didn’t have time to think about or deal with being back in Los Angeles after being gone for the first part of 2010. Being gone changed a lot of things for me and put a lot of things into perspective. The whole time I was in Alaska I was really careful about not putting too much of myself into this project, but as I get further into it I realize it is inevitable. The project helped shape and change me in ways that I can’t take back and why the hell would I?! It gave me a sense of confidence and refreshed perspective on what the hell I want to do with my life…

So here I am finishing up Episode 11, out of work, moving out of my apt, and every part of my life completely and totally up in the air. The reason being is I decided to leave. I decided to take a risk, put everything on the line to go move to Alaska and document someone’s life who I believe in. Some would say that takes balls and I am slowly realizing they are right=)! I put my relationship, my friendships and my whole life on the line to do this project simply because I believed in it. I want to keep taking risks and challenging myself because frankly… if I don’t then what the hell is the point.

I’m slowly settling into the idea of not having a job. It sucks and is scary, but I know I will be ok. I am finishing the project; I am packing up my life and putting it into storage and I am trying to figure out what comes next. That being said, I also think taking life one day at a time right now is what I need to do and whatever comes my way… let it come!